The beauty of solitude and gratitude.

I used to be the type of person who would do anything just for people to like me. Scared of being alone, scared of people judging, and overly agreeable just so that my presence could be accepted by everyone. But deep down I know I was just a kid who was insecure about myself and needed validation and affection from people. It was just me, trying to fit in.

A lot has happened this year.

Everything happened too fast to the point I didn’t have enough time to grasp it all from graduating high school, traveling with friends, and getting into university.

All this years, I struggled to find my true self. I struggled to be myself. Turns out it was solitude that I needed the most and this year has helped me realize and appreciate the actual value of it — offered me the time and space to reflect and grow.

It turns out, being alone is not as bad as I thought.

I can fully express myself, I can do whatever I want, and feel comfortable without having those scary feelings thinking about how others will judge me. It is just me versus the world. But it’s not always about being alone, it is about embracing the chances for introspection and self-discovery.

But still, it is not the answer to all my questions.

I do like being at peace with myself and my surroundings but I am also someone who needs my family and friends around me. Life without them will have no meaning.

Other people may see me as an introverted person because I don’t speak much. But I can assure you, I am a very extroverted person when I am with people who bring me comfort and happiness. I am grateful to have friends that I am comfortable with and when I am with them it will show how effortless it can be when you are surrounded by the right people.

This year, I learned that We can embrace both solitude and gratitude of others equally and wholeheartedly because each has its unique meaning and beauty.

I am grateful to everyone who came into my life this year. I surely made a lot more new friends this year than I have before. To you who are new, hi, welcome to my life. I hope you stayed till the end — for everyone who has been in my life before, and still is, thank you for staying.

Happy New Year.

I hope 2024 treats us well and I can’t wait to experience what God has willed for me this year.